Thursday, January 13, 2011

auntie sheila

Last Tuesday, my Auntie Sheila, who helped raise me and is like a mother to me, passed away after a long illness. It was her funeral today; I couldn't go - the service is in the Isle of Man and I'm in America. Instead, I sent this to my cousin and it was read as part of the eulogy.
I never told you what you meant to me,
Never found words that were good enough.
Never brave for yourself, you always defended me,
You gave me laughter, you gave me love.

Every time that I ever said goodbye to you,
I said I love you - was that enough?
And now that this is my last goodbye to you
All I have is this one word: love.

It's strange; you are gone, but not gone.
You are dead, but not disappeared.
I'll never see your mischievous smile again,
But in my mind, your smile's still here.

I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss you.
Time is a great healer they alway say,
But as long as I'm alive to still love you
I'll not let your memory or your love fade away
.

I just wish I could have written something better, something beautiful for her. But at least this says a little bit of all the things I still have to say to her and will never be able to now.

2 comments:

  1. It is beautiful. Words, for something like this, will never feel good enough. You would never be happy with any combination of words to express how you feel for your Aunt and for yourself in her absence, but this poem is lovely, and it spoke to me a little too.

    So sorry you've lost Sheila. She was lucky to have you too, I think, and that you told her you loved her every time you said goodbye.

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  2. thank you teresa, it helps to hear that :-)

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